What word do I speak?

~A meditation for this day~

"What am I? I am myself a word spoken by God. Can God speak a word that does not have any meaning?

Yet am I sure that the meaning of my life is the meaning God intends for it?
Does God impose a meaning on my life from the "outside", through event, custom, routine, law, system, impact with others in society? Or am I called to create from "within", with Him, with His grace, a meaning which reflects His truth and makes me His "word" spoken freely in my personal situation?

My true identity lies hidden in God's call to my freedom and my response to Him. This means I must use my freedom in order to love, with full responsibility and authenticity, not merely receiving a form imposed on me by external forces, or forming my own life according to an approved social pattern, but directing my love to the personal reality of my neighbor, and embracing God's will in its naked, often impenetrable mystery (Romans 11: 33-36). I cannot discover my "meaning" if I try to evade the dread which comes from first experiencing my meaninglessness."

Thomas Merton "Choosing to Love the World"